In the first minutes of September 19, my 21st birthday, I decided to watch Eat Pray Love. In the first couple of minutes of the film, I felt like being in the same ground as Liz Gilbert (Julia Roberts)—except not yet married of course; wanna travel the world yes, and most importantly being in that position wherein you barely know what to do in your life. For the first time, I actually wish for a multiple-choice-type of decision making, wherein you just got to choose which path you prefer from a to c, then just deal with the consequences later than being stuck with this kind of situation—no choices whatsoever. So much for 21 years: 16 of it spent in school, 2 years learning to walk, 3 to speak 300 words, then BUMMER!! Happy Birthday to me!!!
Life is full of choices, of decisions to make—that, I learned and still learning every day. The difficult part though is—choosing. But today, I decide to be happy. I decide to smile. I decide to pray…to just lift it up to Him and surrender. The way I did in those 3 months before taking the board exam. I pray, “Lord, if it is your will, may your will be done”. Now, I’d still utter the same words before Him, “Lord whatever you decide my life would be, unto your hands I entrust my spirit. I know you know best, and I’ll try to do better.” When I wake up the following morning, I’ll smile and say “21 years have passed, another 21 years or so in the making…and it’s gonna be a blast.”—that is a decision I’d be making today. And tomorrow is the first day to start living with that decision.
Life is not a multiple choice type, but an essay. Each day you try to find the words to describe what your day has been…and after some time, when we go back and read those words again, there you’ll see how you were able to spend your life. Is it memorable? Is it happy? Are you more happy than sad? Were you hurt? How many times you’ve cried? How many scars have faded in the view? Were you able to stand after a fall? Were you able to learn through it all? Life isn’t simple—it’s just life. When I read those words I’ve written in the past, I’d seen that my life has been pretty simple; not complicated, not vague, just simple…I don’t wanna call it boring—just maybe, undemanding. But for the next jolt it’s not gonna be easy and I’ve got to take it seriously…because if I don’t, I might just end up clicking the ‘refresh’ button of my life and start over again—just like Liz Gilbert…but that’s her…and it’s not gonna be me. 21 years from now, when I look back, I wanted to tell myself “Oh yeah, that has been my life! Crazy and fulfilled life.” –and not a bitchy, crappy life.
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| Julia Roberts as Liz Gilbert (Eat Pray Love) |
Life…a free-falling ride…just go with it :))
—3:37 am
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