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| Disclaimer: photo not mine. |
Someone once asked me, “Why did
you take up nursing?” Well, I don’t want to make up reasons which will
certainly become a lie. Actually, my parents wanted me to. But if I’d truly be
asked, what I wanted for myself…answer is, I
don’t know. That’s why I
went with what my parents told me. Besides, parents know best right? The
question is, if I will survive this.
Another someone asked me, “Why
didn’t you quit? If that’s not what you wanted” Well, truth is, I still don’t know. I just told
myself that, if this is what God wanted for me, then let it be. Now the
question is, is this really what God wanted for me or I just assumed it was?
The problem with me is that I
don’t know what I want for myself. I’m a coward for what it’s worth. Not brave
enough to try something out of the ordinary…too scared of taking risks and
failing afterward…too afraid of finding out if it’s all worth it, or just
another blow in the air. I always feel like, “I can’t” even without trying. Maybe because I’m
that type of person who constantly seeks for everyone’s approval: too concerned
of what others may think, and cannot handle too much criticism. I am that
someone who hasn’t experienced defeat, because I am a mediocre…not going far
enough to move forward and walk some rocks.
But if there is anything
worthwhile in all this, it’s the experience I had while in college. Behind all
the drama in all those four years, lies a life’s worth of learning of which I
would not dare trade with anything.
Not everyone could go beyond
the white walls of the hospital and see some real action and quality drama. E.R
is my favorite hangout—simply because it keeps me active and moving while on
duty. It’s not okay to see bloody people around, or to receive a patient who
just had a Cardiac Arrest. Sometimes, it can be downright scary, and there were
times when I just froze in one corner or even close my eyes because it was
simply too much for me to handle. O.R is also a favorite—I love the fact that I
could see live pictures of body parts on which for most people, they only see
on pictures/books or TV. I am able to take a very close look on God’s intricate
and most impressive creation: the Human Body. If special areas activate me,
Wards drown me to boredom with its routinely work…but in these places, you meet real people—really sick people whom you
could talk to, and if you’re lucky, even inspire you. In Wards, you take care of
them—strangers—patients—clients—and some could become your friend.
This has been my life as a
nursing student. And if you’d ask me again, “Why I didn’t leave?”—maybe, just
maybe—I love what I do…or should
I say what it did to me.
