Apple Tree

“Life will break you. 
Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. 
You have to love. 
You have to feel. 
It is the reason you are here on earth. 
You are here to risk your heart.
You are here to be swallowed up. 
And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. 
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” 

— Louise Erdrich

THANK YOU LORD!!

For the past months, I have been praying to the Lord our God for my license. Along with those prayers are hardwork and perseverance. The inspiration my family, friends and mentors has given me are my fuel which gets me going through the ride. Now, that I finally reap the fruits of my labor, I would like to thank everyone who were with me and never left my side. I know that this is just the beginning of a tougher journey ahead. The challenges of finding a job, the resilience if unable to find one, and the patience to wait for the opportunities, are tests to deal with in due time. Nevertheless, I have a greater God who are my wings as I soar through these clear or cloudy skies.

"Whatever Jesus has entrusted to you, use it in service for others and for God"

These are the parting words of the priest a while ago after the mass. Jesus entrusted the key to the Kingdom of God to Peter, the rock, of whom the church was built. Whatever he bound on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever we lose on earth, we will lose in heaven. In today's Word of God, He tells us that through Peter's courage and faith, God has made him the instrument to build His church. God has given me my license to become a nurse, and entrusted me the opportunity to touch lives in a way I was made for. As Jesus entrusted the key and the establishment of the church to Peter and the Apostles, much has been expected from them, and they delivered through the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit. Now, that I am officially licensed, I felt like I, too, has been entrusted with the key—a key of which greater responsibility held. I know I must deliver too, like one of Jesus' most loved disciple. There's no pressure in there because He knows what I can do and capable of—besides, the Holy Spirit is always with me to smoothen the creases whenever necessary. That's my faith—as to my courage, I am working on that everyday!!! What's there life to offer me is a mystery that's gonna make the upcoming days of my life a one heck of a ride that's gonna be fun, bumpy at times, but definitely fun!

Nursing isn't always my first choice...but I am going to prove, that I actually made the right choice. It's not the money, but it's the job—the chance to make a difference just by simply caring to mere strangers. "Whatever you do the rest of your brothers and sisters, you do it to Me" as what Jesus has once said. I promised myself to better in my profession by loving and embracing what I have in my hands.

POSTSCRIPT:

I would like to thank God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, for holding me tight especially on times that I'm slowly slipping away.

Thank you to Our lady of Salvation of whose light emanates in the four corners of my room—in those nights that seems scary and gloomy, her light calms my soul...and that same light is a spark of hope for a better day ahead.

Thank You to the great Saints of whom their intercessions I called—St. Jude Thaddeus, St. Benedict, St. Agnes, St. Anthony of Padua, St. Clare, and to Our Lady of Mt. Carmel.

Thank you to my loving parents—mama and papa—they are my source of strength, inspiration, and most importantly, financial support (haha)...they're the best, most loving parents in the world! ...to my sister who is patient (if not always) with me, and my brother as well... to my Auntie whose there to hang-out with me and bring noise to my room...to my cousins, esp. Carla, my ex-roommate (miss you!!)...and to the rest of my aunts and uncles, and to my Grandmothers as well...

BUCN family—one of the strangely amazing family there is for me...who taught me independence, and how to find my motivation in the midst of adversaries and ambivalence—it is always the service for other people that makes Nursing a humble and noble profession—my great mentors has taught me that...and that's why I made it this far. Great efforts from strongly dedicated and caring professors...a great deal of gratitude belongs to you!!!

My colleagues now—BALLAMO DEMIRA, BLOCK BEE, DIYES the Insensitives, Group Six and Batch 2011 of BUCN—a hell of a job we did out there!!!—97.69% is incredibly a performance to date!!! CONGRATULATES to everyone!!! see you sa oath-taking...

Payee, Pepot, Tel, Neren, Marj, Hannah...thank you for standing by...kahit kelan, hindi kayo nawala...love you guys!!! 

Agnesian community, and my former batchmates....thank you sa prayers and tiwala...

Kuya Honest...salamat sa pakikigulo sa amin...hahaha...

...and to my Pentagon-Legaspi family...it was a tremendous and totally fun learning experience with you... I never thought I would enjoy the concepts of nursing this much...thank you sa Magic 5 and to sir DJ...Kudos!!

Who would you be if you weren’t you?

photo credits: weheartit.com

Sometimes, I imagine myself being somebody else…to be someone who does other things, live in other place, and be with other people. Someone who has the liberty to be someone she is, other than trying to be someone she’s not. It’s fun living other peoples’ role. A character made up by some infamous author in their novels…or an award-winning scriptwriter in their major film production…or just an ordinary real person walking the streets while humming the last song they’ve heard.

Some people wear masks of their other selves because they’re afraid to reveal their real faces. In this world full of people trying to prove that they’re a lot better than you, it’s a real challenge to step up and find that fuel to be ahead from the race. Sometimes we feel that it’s always not enough…that our efforts always fall short despite the hard work we put into it. And so, the next thing is to take the game to the next level. Try to outsmart them, break some rules, and never be underdogs. It’s a mask of protection—trying to hide the vulnerabilities that would cause our defeats…and protect us from a total meltdown. When people see that Achilles’ heel, shooting an arrow is just as easy as 1 2 3. Wearing that mask would separate us from people trying to pull us down…cause somehow, we are on the same race as they are.

Trying to wear that mask is never that easy. Maybe, being someone else would be a lot easier. Pretending is a habit for some people…to pretend to be strong, to be different, to be good…and to be happy. Living in this world is crazy—being with people who would always ponder on your mistakes, and criticize your every move. It’s always a busy ride trying to prove your worth…it’s a fast pace world, that slowing down would leave you far behind the rest.

Being someone else is easy. You just have to play that game like everybody does. Because being you means playing by the rules…and playing by the rules would mean a defeat…because not everybody plays by the rule…there’s only a few.


I like to be somebody else…because being me is difficult. Nevertheless, being somebody else means playing the game like everybody else does. It’s a game of cheating. It’s difficult to cheat life. It’s scary when it comes back on you. So, I guess, I’ll just stick to being myself…no need to carry that heavy mask and play the role that’s intended for somebody else. No one promised that life would be easy…and nobody said you’d love to be different. It’s fun though, trying to play others’ part, and finding out in the end, that you’re the better cut among the rest. Rules are made to be broken anyway…so why not make your own rules. Have a better game to be played. Everybody does that.