Chances... Choices

Once you let people in, you take the good with the bad... and not just the good stuff...and once they let you in, allow them to see the bad stuff too and not just the good ones. 

Once you decide to finally take a chance... to take all the risk--even if it might hurt you one day--you don't step back because you get scared... you step up and allow that courage within you to seep through your heart...

We don't always get the ending we want, but we could decide to make our beginnings worthwhile...

And when God gives you that thing you always pray for, remember to say THANK YOU, because he has given you that thing your heart has been longing for...

Zilch 102

Yung moment na pinipilit ko na lang talaga maging masaya kasi wala naman mangyayari kung magiging malungkot ka...

Nakakapagod din pala maging malakas para sa lahat... nakakapagod din pasayahin ang iba, kasi nakakalimutan mo na ikaw din pala, kailangan ng magpapasaya...

Unfair ang life, kasi minsan, sa dinami-dami ng kasama mo araw araw andun pa rin yung feeling na mag-isa ka lang talaga... at yung feeling na hindi mo magawang sabihin lahat ng ito sa iba kasi ayaw mong kaawaan ka nila.

Free Falling

Dear You;

When I first met you, you were really not my type. That all-seemingly-bad-boy-image you showed me was something I never thought I’d like. I don’t want someone whom I’d be able to talk to, and see for such limited time… but somehow, your kindness and thoughtfulness put my guard behind the lines.

Who are you behind the words you spoke? You set my cold heart in a coal. You made me feel those kinds of emotions I evade… now I couldn’t help it, I kinda feel soaked. You were there to push me at the edge of the cliff, saying “don’t be scared to fall”. But now when my heart and courage are set, you were nowhere to be seen; no one to catch me on my free-fall.

Love, you said you’d teach me how. I refuse to learn unless you show me how. Now that I’m alone with my shadows once again, I just seem to forget to thank you somehow. Even if you left me hanging there, those smiles you painted on my lonely days, I will keep them in my heart. Thank you for the friendship, and the courage you taught me—I never thought I have them inside me.

When I take my feet off that cliff, I hope to see you there to catch me as I fall. If not, I pray fervently to the heavens, to give me wings instead so I may fly with the mighty eagles and soar. It’s time to embrace my freedom, with the courage I was taught… don’t be scared to fall, trust that there’s a cushion to every fall…

Sincerely,

K.

P.S. I Love You

Best of Me

Yeah, I may be bad, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be good. Yes I made mistakes in my life—I made a lot to be precise—but that doesn’t mean I haven’t done anything right. Yes, I have hurt people, broke some hearts and made empty promises, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t made anyone happy in one way or another. I am not perfect. Who is? But that doesn’t give you any right to judge me and belittle my ambitions, and put me into a cage of perfect pretensions. Yes, I am not as good as you think I am, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give me any chance to change what you think of me. I may not be an angel in the eyes of many, but for those few people who believe in me… I know I am okay. And as long as there are people who believe in second chances, I will be okay. Yes, I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it… but if I’m better, I can give you the best of me.

❤Shoes

Photo Source: weheartit

Good shoes takes you to good places… that I believe to be true. That’s probably why, when people say that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend”—I flinch…because I’d rather go for shoes! Yes. Shoes. Sometimes, it doesn’t have to be expensive or ostentatious. All it takes is a good fit…a comfortable one. Something on which you can walk with: strutting your grace, jumping with joy, and walking on grounds of beautiful places.

When we dream, we dream high… we dream big… with our feet on the ground. Isn’t marvelous to have your feet on the ground with good shoes in it?! After all, you have your dreams underway… better work in it with class.

This is just me, a girl talking… a girl who loves shoes!

For What It's Worth... Thank You♥

I am not the best writer…... for me, it doesn’t really matter because I like what I do—- I love what I do. This is what I do best. And God merits me for being proud and loud with this talent. Sometimes, with my words, I can touch hearts. Some people would really appreciate my work, saying “that’s really how I felt”, “you made me cry”... and with all these, I am even more inspired. Knowing that somehow, even in the simplest forms, you are able to touch a soul- is such a heartfelt privilege that I am truly grateful for. Yes, I may not be the best, but I am happy and content. In God’s eyes, I am doing just fine. And in everything I do, I do it for the greater Glory of our Lord……... and that is what truly matters! In this world, we all want to be appreciated for who we are. When people appreciate all the little things I am able to pull out of all my imperfections, I am moved. So, for all the people who loves me, cares for me, appreciates me……... GOD LOVES YOU, as much as I LOVE YOU! Kudos! 

RADYO.

Disclaimer: photo not mine.

Ang puso ko, parang radyo. May switch, tuner at volume control. At ikaw ang paborito kong station.

Hmm. Radyo.  Kapag ayoko ko nang makinig sa’yo, pwede ko yun i-off. Kung nami-miss kita, pwede ko i-on at hanapin ang favorite radio station ko. Pwede kong palakasin ang tunog nito para marinig mo ang isinisigaw nito. Volume up para makinig ka at maintindihan mo ang gusto nitong iparating. Volume down kung hindi ka pa handang marinig ito…at kung sa tingin ko ay hindi mo pwedeng malaman ang laman ng kanta ko. Kapag busy ka, may tuner naman, para maghanap ng ibang radio station. Para naman maaliw ako kahit papaano. Marunong maglibang ng sarili ang radyong ito. Ang problema nga lang, madalas hindi ko gusto yung ibang nahahanap ko. Kapag dead on air na ang favorite station ko, maari kong mapakinabangan ang tuning control ko. Gamitin ang fine-tuning para maging sakto ulit sa gusto ko.

Katulad ng radyo, ang puso ko ay gawa sa bakal. Pero konting spark lang, maaring magbago ang tunog nito. Minsan mo nang binuhay ito, at minsang nakalimutan ng puso ko na gawa sa bakal ito. Pero katulad ng maraming bagay, nasisira din ito. Kaya huwag kang magtaka kung pilit kong sinusukat ang voltage mo. Baka kasi kapag nasobrahan, bigla na lang itong sumabog…mag-short circuit, at makuryente lang ako. Kapag kulang, baka hindi na ito gumana ng maayos. Dapat sakto lang. Yung spark na magpapatunog nito ng magagandang musika, at hindi makakasira sa kanyang makina. Oo, maselan ang radyo na ito. Kaya sinasala ko ng mabuti ang kuryenteng magpapagana dito. Balang araw, alam ko na kakalawangin din ito, masisira, mabubulok, mawawasak. Pero sisiguraduhin ko, na bago yun mangyari, nakapagbigay muna ito ng magandang musika sa pandinig ng tenga ko, at ng ibang tagapakinig nito. Oo, takot akong mabasag ito nang basta-basta. Kaya sana, hayaan mo munang makapag-adjust ang wiring nito. Pero, kung sa tingin mo hindi compatible, ipaalam mo nang mas maaga. Para hindi na mapasubo ang radyo na may malaking halaga sa pagkatao ko.

Sa Huling Pagkakataon

photo credits: weheartit.com

Sa 15 na taon ng pagiging estudyante, nagkaroon ako ng 7 uri o design ng school uniform—1 noong Kinder/Prep, 3 noong Elementary, 1 high school, at 2 ngayong college (type A, B, at meron pa plang C—for civilian…3 pala). Laging tig-3 set ang bawat isa…5 set ang type A or clinical uniform ko…lahat lahat at meron akong naging 23 na uniform…isama mo pa ang mga naging PE uniform ko…hindi ko na mabilang…

Ano nga ba ang meron sa school uniform? Bakit sa tuwing naiisip ko ang huling araw ng pagsuot ko nito ay nakakadama ako ng kakaibang lungkot? Kung tutuusin, kapirasong tela lang naman ito, at marami ka pang kaparehong design…at hindi ito pasok sa fashion statement ng mga tao. Pero bakit kakaiba sa pakiramdam mawalay dito?

Sabi nila, ang school uniform daw ay form of identity. Ito ang pagkakakilanlan ng paaralang iyong pinapasukan. Araw-araw pagpasok, ay suot-suot ko ito. Minsan na din akong na-late dahil sa hindi plantsadong uniform, at pumasok na parang hahabulin lang ng plantsa…napagalitan dahil sa “incomplete uniform” at hindi papasukin sa klase dahil sa “not in uniform”. Umulan man o umaraw school uniform ang kasabay ko sa pagpasok sa klase…may transport strike o wala…first Friday masses, third Sunday masses at sa mga misa na idinadaos sa school…school programs, recognition day, teacher’s day, valentine’s day, at sa pagkarami-rami pang pagkakataon. Suot ko ang school uniform ko sa mga masasaya at di gaano kasayang mga sandali ng pagiging estudyante ko. Ito ang suot ko nang makilala ko ang mga kaibigan ko…nang matutunan ko ang photosynthesis, solar system, Laws of Motion, pag-solve ng Algebra, Trig at Geometry problems… nang makilala ko sina Einstein, Newton, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Robert Frost, Homer, Elizabeth Browning, Confucius, Jose Rizal, Apolinario Mabini, Emilio Aguinaldo, at marami pang iba. Ito rin ang suot ko nang makilala ko ang teachers na naging inspirasyon ko at hinangaan, at minsan ding naisipang gayahin. Marahil ito rin ang suot ko nang matuto akong magdasal at nang unang natutong mangarap.

Sa bawat uniform na meron ako, may kakabit itong mga alaala ng kabataan ko, mga naging pangarap, mga pinaghirapang exams, mga nadaluhang recognition day kung saan sinasabitan ako ng medalya…at napakarami pang karanasan ng pagiging estudyante. Sa bawat araw na suot ko ang mga ito, ipinagmamalaki ko ito. Nagsisilbi itong simbolo ng aking paglalakbay tungo sa pag-abot ng aking mga pangarap. Sa bawat panahong nagdadaan, kumukupas din ang mga ito—ngunit hindi ang mga hibla ng pagsusumikap, para makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, na kakabit narin nito.

photo credits: weheartit.com

Ang aking school uniforms ay bahagi na rin ng aking pagkatao. Kakabit nito ang naging buhay ko sa loob ng mga paaralang minsan ko ding naging tahanan. Maaaring bukas na ang maging huling araw ng pagsuot ko ng aking school uniform. Sa March 30, 2011, sa wakas ay ga-graduate na ako, huling araw na ng pagiging estudyante ko.  Magiging panatag na ang mga magulang ko, dahil alam nila na kahit saan man ako magpunta, may natapos na ako. Sa susunod na linggo, itatago ko na ang mga naging school uniform ko, ngunit hindi ang mga aral na natutunan ko sa loob ng 15 taon na suot ko ito. Maswerte ako dahil nakapag-aral ako…maswerte ako dahil magagandang uniform ang isinuot ko…at ang mga ito ang habambuhay kong ipagpapasalamat at magiging simbolo ng pagtuklas ko ng karunungan, at ng halaga ng mga pangarap sa ating buhay. At sa lahat ng naging school uniform ko, SALAMAT at sinamahan niyo ako….

Stories

Disclaimer: photo not mine.

Every one of us got stories share. Stories which may mean nothing to someone but can be life changing to other. There are certain stories which may bring joy, tears, pain and inspiration. There are different kinds of stories to tell—Stories that are happy and sad … stories about love, family, adventure, epic, fantasy, and tragedy. They are weaved in fashion that could somehow transcend time…hoping to captivate one’s imagination, inspire a soul, or just have the pleasure of being able to share a story to be remembered. When you read them, you get to feel what the character feels…you get to know the passions the author reveal behind it…and you get to know the morals each of them portrays. It’s amazing to think of the kind of magic stories hold on to their audience. It’s not a spectacle display of brilliance, but rather a humble relay of emotions. I’ve read too many kinds of stories, and after every one, I seem almost always inspired afterwards. Not were all happy endings, and I can’t help but feel broken for those stories who didn’t make it—but almost did. I guess those kinds of stories would always be remembered. But most importantly, the realization I always get afterwards would struck me the most. Somehow, I would always end up wondering if I could ever write something on my own, and touch a soul for it. Maybe, just maybe, it is the dream I’ve always dreamt of in my solitude.

EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY

photo credits: DeviantArt

There are these struggles in a person’s life that nobody else knows about. And it’s the fact of not knowing what it is that makes people feel alone sometimes. It’s the feeling of being empty and alone in a journey without any strike of light even at far.

There are times when you’re hurt too much that you don’t know what else to say… you don’t know what’s there to feel. It’s like you’re too numb to ever feel the pain. Either it’s by choice not to feel, or it’s just too much that even your body can’t endure.

When it rains, it pours…but sometimes, when it rains, it’s cold. Some people love to watch the rain from their windows. It’s got this sense of tranquility. It’s like the sky is crying for you because your eyes are empty with tears. Just like a heart that’s void of emotions. The cold from within reflects the cold from the outside.

The songs you hear and listen to, are mere echoes of the real melody and words that some hearts long to say. When you hear them from others’ lips through their songs, you feel fine, because you know that somehow, you share the same feelings with somebody else.

When you watch movies, you cry. It’s like you know what they’re going through, and you know how it feels the way they feel. They are mirrors of the real world and they reflect the sentiments that are vastly true and vague.

Everybody needs somebody…
Somebody to lean on to and sit beside you when all you ever wanted is to cry… Someone who can stay with you and listen to your muffled sighs… That person whose warmth can ease your numb soul and cold heart…The one whose gonna sing what your heart longs to hear, and show to you what a beautiful world there is to see.

Life is subtle and imperfect. Sometimes empty, sometimes gray. It’s amazing how one can see the meaning of life through the eyes of someone else…someone you care for and cares back. How can an ordinary person make you feel fine deep within. How an eventful moment can change the colors that you see. How a void empty space can be filled by someone just by sticking around.

Happiness is alive when shared with somebody else. Sadness only happens when you’re by yourself. Everybody needs somebody to share their happiness with… and be able to share with you their own happiness. Someone…who can share a piece of their own world with you…and that’s when you realize that you’re no longer alone.

Everybody needs somebody…to feel...to live…to be free…and be happy.

IMAGES

Disclaimer: photo not mine.

The better image of a person radiates upon the light they emanate when everything around them is dark…

People have different images for us, and we strike different poses for them. Some people smile in front of a camera to project a happy image…some kink their nose, raise their eyebrows, or pout their lips to come out unique and funny. Everyone vies for a good capture…who wants to gaffe in a camera pic anyway?? Although we love seeing bloopers, and we laugh at them…when a camera lights flash, we always attempt to project the better side of us.

In life, people have expectations of us. In their expectations, sometimes we fall short and sometimes we step up big. In our society, they expect us to behave properly, and we sometimes follow the norms either consciously or unconsciously. While some people wanted to be different and just be crazy, trip in the mirth of breaking rules, and top up the fun with society hoots.

When we bluff the real image just to feed in people’s expectations of us, we never appreciate the real beauty of the picture. Instead we always try to evaluate the beauty that is too well hidden in the mask of perfect pretensions.

In life’s photographs, it is never a necessity to come up polished and perfect. What people look in the photo is the real image behind the capture…the unseen behind the scene…or may be the mystery that we try so hard to decipher…

When we decide to disclose our self with people, do we choose to reveal the real us? Or allow the mystery to creep in and let them discovery the real clarity from within?