S T R A N G E R S

STRANGERS.

THEY ARE OF DIFFERENT KINDS.

SOME OF THEM ARE THE LIVES YOU CHANGE,

WHILE SOME CHANGES YOU.

AND THERE ARE ALSO THOSE WHO WILL REMAIN

TO BE A STRANGER IN YOU.

Zilch 102

Yung moment na pinipilit ko na lang talaga maging masaya kasi wala naman mangyayari kung magiging malungkot ka...

Nakakapagod din pala maging malakas para sa lahat... nakakapagod din pasayahin ang iba, kasi nakakalimutan mo na ikaw din pala, kailangan ng magpapasaya...

Unfair ang life, kasi minsan, sa dinami-dami ng kasama mo araw araw andun pa rin yung feeling na mag-isa ka lang talaga... at yung feeling na hindi mo magawang sabihin lahat ng ito sa iba kasi ayaw mong kaawaan ka nila.

❤Shoes

Photo Source: weheartit

Good shoes takes you to good places… that I believe to be true. That’s probably why, when people say that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend”—I flinch…because I’d rather go for shoes! Yes. Shoes. Sometimes, it doesn’t have to be expensive or ostentatious. All it takes is a good fit…a comfortable one. Something on which you can walk with: strutting your grace, jumping with joy, and walking on grounds of beautiful places.

When we dream, we dream high… we dream big… with our feet on the ground. Isn’t marvelous to have your feet on the ground with good shoes in it?! After all, you have your dreams underway… better work in it with class.

This is just me, a girl talking… a girl who loves shoes!

FALLING STARS.

I'm not looking for love. It will come, the way shooting stars lit up the skies.

I’m not waiting, nor expecting.

Not assuming nor engaging on anything.

Life has rules.

Falling in love has its rules.

I’ve got my own rules.

And once I get to that point, where rules are no longer rules,

And you become an exception to those rules,

Then that’s the time I can say, “Love has fallen” like the stars are falling.

ZILCH 101

May dalawang klase ng kaibigan sa buhay ng tao: yung laging andiyan sa tabi mo, at yung nandiyan lang kapag kailangan mo. Yung una, lubos kang kilala. Yung tipong alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng katahimikan mo at ng halakhak mo. At yung pangalawa, ay ang lubos na nakakaalam kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng bawat patak ng luha mo. Siya ang kaibigan mo sa paglipas ng panahon, ang kasama mo sa pagtanda. Maswerte ka kung meron ka nang parehoang magkaroon ng mga baliw na kaibigan na laging magpapatawa sa iyo, at mga kaibigan na handang dumamay sa oras ng kalungkutan mo. 

LOOKING FOR NOTHING

Disclaimer: photo not mine.

I watch the days drift by…wind blowing, the leaves swaying. I’m stuck around the corners of my room… waiting for night to come…trying so hard to see the stars amidst the glaring streetlamp…waiting for the moon to show up that’s hiding underneath the clouds. I’m looking for something so vague…so distant. I know for a fact that I’m wasting my time just hanging around. I know there’s an opportunity for me out there…there’s a lot actually. It’s just that…I’m always been this girl who’s so afraid…been through much (but not a lot) but still afraid…always holding back…always deferring those chances. It’s been three months since I last wrote on my journal…no follow-through’s yet…and it’s long (who knows how long) since I wrote a decent entry on my blog. Who cares anyway, I don’t even know if there’s anyone reading it… nevertheless, I’m still on this constant search… search for something I barely know… I think I’m gonna go nuts just by lurking around this place and doing absolutely nothing…at least nothing I have planned. The last time I looked up the sky and saw the brilliant stars, (that was when the lights were out for about a minute)…then I saw those stars, then at that moment, I found peace inside… Now, I’m waiting to see those stars again (seems like they’ve been hiding all this time), to feel that stillness once more…and hoping…and praying to heaven, that I’ll be able to see the path that’s laid out for me. I need to know… I need to start moving…because if not, I might not be able to get away…if not, I might be stuck here forever…

Sa Huling Pagkakataon

photo credits: weheartit.com

Sa 15 na taon ng pagiging estudyante, nagkaroon ako ng 7 uri o design ng school uniform—1 noong Kinder/Prep, 3 noong Elementary, 1 high school, at 2 ngayong college (type A, B, at meron pa plang C—for civilian…3 pala). Laging tig-3 set ang bawat isa…5 set ang type A or clinical uniform ko…lahat lahat at meron akong naging 23 na uniform…isama mo pa ang mga naging PE uniform ko…hindi ko na mabilang…

Ano nga ba ang meron sa school uniform? Bakit sa tuwing naiisip ko ang huling araw ng pagsuot ko nito ay nakakadama ako ng kakaibang lungkot? Kung tutuusin, kapirasong tela lang naman ito, at marami ka pang kaparehong design…at hindi ito pasok sa fashion statement ng mga tao. Pero bakit kakaiba sa pakiramdam mawalay dito?

Sabi nila, ang school uniform daw ay form of identity. Ito ang pagkakakilanlan ng paaralang iyong pinapasukan. Araw-araw pagpasok, ay suot-suot ko ito. Minsan na din akong na-late dahil sa hindi plantsadong uniform, at pumasok na parang hahabulin lang ng plantsa…napagalitan dahil sa “incomplete uniform” at hindi papasukin sa klase dahil sa “not in uniform”. Umulan man o umaraw school uniform ang kasabay ko sa pagpasok sa klase…may transport strike o wala…first Friday masses, third Sunday masses at sa mga misa na idinadaos sa school…school programs, recognition day, teacher’s day, valentine’s day, at sa pagkarami-rami pang pagkakataon. Suot ko ang school uniform ko sa mga masasaya at di gaano kasayang mga sandali ng pagiging estudyante ko. Ito ang suot ko nang makilala ko ang mga kaibigan ko…nang matutunan ko ang photosynthesis, solar system, Laws of Motion, pag-solve ng Algebra, Trig at Geometry problems… nang makilala ko sina Einstein, Newton, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Robert Frost, Homer, Elizabeth Browning, Confucius, Jose Rizal, Apolinario Mabini, Emilio Aguinaldo, at marami pang iba. Ito rin ang suot ko nang makilala ko ang teachers na naging inspirasyon ko at hinangaan, at minsan ding naisipang gayahin. Marahil ito rin ang suot ko nang matuto akong magdasal at nang unang natutong mangarap.

Sa bawat uniform na meron ako, may kakabit itong mga alaala ng kabataan ko, mga naging pangarap, mga pinaghirapang exams, mga nadaluhang recognition day kung saan sinasabitan ako ng medalya…at napakarami pang karanasan ng pagiging estudyante. Sa bawat araw na suot ko ang mga ito, ipinagmamalaki ko ito. Nagsisilbi itong simbolo ng aking paglalakbay tungo sa pag-abot ng aking mga pangarap. Sa bawat panahong nagdadaan, kumukupas din ang mga ito—ngunit hindi ang mga hibla ng pagsusumikap, para makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, na kakabit narin nito.

photo credits: weheartit.com

Ang aking school uniforms ay bahagi na rin ng aking pagkatao. Kakabit nito ang naging buhay ko sa loob ng mga paaralang minsan ko ding naging tahanan. Maaaring bukas na ang maging huling araw ng pagsuot ko ng aking school uniform. Sa March 30, 2011, sa wakas ay ga-graduate na ako, huling araw na ng pagiging estudyante ko.  Magiging panatag na ang mga magulang ko, dahil alam nila na kahit saan man ako magpunta, may natapos na ako. Sa susunod na linggo, itatago ko na ang mga naging school uniform ko, ngunit hindi ang mga aral na natutunan ko sa loob ng 15 taon na suot ko ito. Maswerte ako dahil nakapag-aral ako…maswerte ako dahil magagandang uniform ang isinuot ko…at ang mga ito ang habambuhay kong ipagpapasalamat at magiging simbolo ng pagtuklas ko ng karunungan, at ng halaga ng mga pangarap sa ating buhay. At sa lahat ng naging school uniform ko, SALAMAT at sinamahan niyo ako….

Just Wanna Ask..

Disclaimer: photo not mine.

How do you know if it’s real?

Does it matter, to know what the other person feel?

How do you withstand a fight?

Do you know that your instincts might be right?

When can you see the truth that hid behind a lie?

Do you believe that most love stories are tragedies?

Do you believe that sometimes, it’s simply not meant to be?

Do you believe in miracles?

Or would you rather believe that most times, it’s just a mere coincidence?

Who are you behind a mask?

Does it matter if you can’t be beautiful from the outside?

Where were you 5 years ago?

Who would you be ten years from now?

Do you matter in some other’s life?

Are you just by yourself most of the time?

Is life too short to live?

Or you’re just too scared of the real life there is to breathe?

How does your heart beat?

Is love, when it dies, the hardest thing to revive?

YOU DON’T KNOW

Disclaimer: photo not mine.

Why do we allow people to dictate which image should we pose? Do they even know the depth of our souls? Do they even know the pain behind each tear we shed? Do they even feel the emptiness that creeps in when the lights are off? Do they even walk the dark streets alone? Do they know the heartbreaks that line the scars of my hope?

Nobody knows how to be me… and nobody cares whether I know the real me… where can you find yourself when you’re lost? How do you go back home when the tunnel is doomed? How can you make corrections to the wrong decisions you made?

Is happiness limitless? Or does it have boundary?